What Do I Do If I’m Feeling Insecure?

Safety and security are things we all crave. They seem natural, even necessary. We link them to life or death: “If I have someone to support me, to care for me, then I’m safe. I’m secure.”

But here’s a radical truth: you are never completely safe. You are never truly secure. Life cannot promise that everything will be comfortable, predictable, or protected. And yet, that’s not a problem. In fact, it’s the beginning of freedom.

Why We Crave Safety

The need for safety is primal. For our ancestors, insecurity meant real danger , a predator, a weapon, a sudden death. Our nervous system still carries that imprint, even when we’re not under threat.

So when we feel insecure, we often reach for something outside ourselves: a partner, a job, a home, a bank balance. We think, “If I have this person, if I have this support, then I can relax.” And for a while, it feels true. We feel propped up. We feel held. We feel “better.”

But life happens. People leave. Circumstances change. Love shifts. The outside support may come or go. If our sense of safety depends on it..

Turning Toward Insecurity

What if insecurity is not a problem to solve, but an invitation to see what’s deeper?

Ask yourself:

Why do I feel insecure?

Why do I believe I need safety?

Is there, right now, an actual threat to your life? Or is this an old reflex, a habit of the mind?

Begin to notice the part of you that wants to be loved, that wants to be held. See the way it reaches outward for something to make it feel okay inside. Simply acknowledging this.

The Freedom of Needing Nothing

Imagine this: being here in the world with nothing to prop you up. Needing nothing. Wanting nothing. Desiring nothing.

In that openness, if someone offers love, comfort, or support, you can receive it, but it does not define you. It adds nothing, it takes nothing away. Whether it is there or not, you remain whole.

This is the heart of true security. Not having everything you want. Not controlling every outcome. But being okay, even when things are uncomfortable.

Life will keep bringing experiences that make you feel threatened, disappointed, or insecure. People will leave. Situations will change. You will not always get what you want. But if you have already discovered the  being you are, you are free. You are always okay.

How to Begin

Sit quietly. Notice the sensations of insecurity in your body. Do not push them away. Do not try to fix them. Just feel, be with everything that arises in that moment.

This is not about rejecting love or support. It is about discovering the freedom of being whole. Then, when comfort comes, it is simply a gift. When it goes, nothing is lost.

Coming Home to Yourself

Freedom from insecurity is not about building bigger walls or finding stronger support. It is about turning inward and meeting your own heart. It is about seeing the vast spaciousness of who you truly are, beyond the survival reflex, beyond the need for someone else to make you okay.

From that place, love, support, and safety are no longer conditions for peace.

That is real security. That is real freedom.